im in love

u know that i know… now just do it already

hidden worlds…..hidden secrets…..secret garden….

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

do i do ibizizzzaaaaaa

fucked

i gay’d out

i got a facebook

my life is over

cANdi ?

Ohhhhh im sooooo lucky… I got sent a link to this site

http://200portraits.webs.com/

which led to me uploading and sending this pic

i took myself to the candi shop coz im a big girl now

Which led to this

Yeah im very lucky! I cant thank Audrey enough !

I dont know her but she is great !!!

Panty Sniffer

Sooo as i was talking about wetting myself at the thought of Gav and Darth being gay for each other it reminded me of a little past day event that me and the Team Meat Machine girls came up with..

PantySniffer !!

Picture this

For those who dont know me I love pictures… well not all but well the ones that can be found on these sites:

http://kircheriana.tumblr.com/

and

http://blog.yimmyayo.com/

I tend to like the more sexual ones…. so I was told of these sites so I done the good thing and passed them along as you do… So I have now been given a new site….. and I feel I must pass this onto you all !

Its a little more sexual and OMGZ some of the stuff aint SFW !!!

enjoy!

http://ffffound.com/

http://ffffound.com/home/superfinger/post/

one of my fav pics being this one

Sweet Ass Candy

You prob thing im a total lezzer now but no I just appreciate hotness!

I also put some of my own pics up on a well known site and I must say that some of the haters !!! its like hellooo you are getting to look at free tits at least be a little nice !!! uhuh!! but no these fat balding old men are not happy !! CUNTS !!

other newssss check my post tomorrow

its my fake birthday today

Its my real one tomorrow… I will be 29 but if Mr Yum is reading this im 24

I got this card

Raarrrrrrr

These are a few of my favourite thingssss

I now hate that song… Ive heard it sooo much over the last month planning for Mr Yums bday which turned out to be amazing !! ie he loved my presents… and my outfit….

Soooo things that have happened lately in pictures…

Enjoy!

Oink Oink

Candy Yum Much?

Hopefully One Of Mr Yums Fav Things

Blue Satin Sashes

Fish Finger Muffin !!

New Tattoo

Close up

eh aye

oh oh oh ohhhhhhhhhh excitement!

So…

its that time again.. Mr Yums birthday….. so what you say..

well soooo what indeed… all shall be revealed tomorrow… he is gonna love it!

Theme this year

no it aint.. i just had to put that in, its wierd!!!! why dont she open her mouth?

this is the theme!! u will think its worse

I got something welllllll cool for him!

he is super yum fyi

Calender Girls

Today we went for a little adventure…. we stuffed Clarabelles car full of munch and drink and headed of for the Lochs.. today we were doing beach wear…

Me waiting to do the shoot

Clarabelle and Les ready for the the shoot !

It was soooo cold but we decided to go for it !

 

Then after that we drove down the water  a bit and things got a little more ummm how do I put it errr colder!!! Those pics you cannot see !!.. It was different !

We stopped off to see this guy on the way home

 

So it was a really good day… maybe next time it will be in the summer heat though!

This is not an invitation

So there have been alot of posters put up on the billboards recently about Rape… Obv they are there to make a point but a lot of them are pretty kinky if u ask me !!!

Husband and wife with the title “this is not an invitation to rape me” under it in a tear drop.. Now Im no Rape Judge but if you are married its ur job by law to sleep with husband/wife wether u like it or not !! I mean be honest it aint like u will be doing it all the time.. we all know that ends the minute u get the ring on the finger !! and to be honest if you were gonna rape (which obv u wont) ur gonna make it a wee kinky hot thing rather than ur boring wife/husband now aint ya!

The others some burds tits nipples poking through what seems to be a wet white vest top ! Eh hello! of course she is gonna get some sexy romantic times !!! silly cow!

Anyway I like these ads.. they amuse me !

So I made my own little vid

Omgzz

Im use to the great standard of vids coming from this guy but for some reason this one just really made me lol..

Its just like perfect !!!!

Soooo

I txt to much !! Really I hear you cry! u ? surely not u vix …

Um yeah.. I know it, everyone knows it !! I love txtn.. however turns out its abit annoying ! yeah i know the feeling when loads of folk txt me back and im like ohhh fuck off will u .. but then i remember well i txt them in the first place .. um

Well… so today ive stopped myself a few times from txtn.. its hard.. i think sometimes i just wanna say things for the sake of it coz i will forget…. or coz i want to tell them.. but really its like as interesting as me having chips n cheese n a pint of cider (strongbow) for my lunch today !

Um so today ! u could have got this

1. My dog just like slammed me against the door and tounged me !! ewwwww

2. Oh yeah my train is like gonna be soooo longer than yours!

omgzz infact im gonna stop right there !!! coz fuck me I did send some utter shite today !!  I need to stop this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its like I get 1700 txts a month !! and i use all of them and over !! the pic msgs omgzz they are like currently standing at 40 odd quid !! and the vids! dont get me started !  If i didnt txt people so much my fone bill would be like 30pnd not the 113 that it is this month !!

Fuck I could have went away somewhere with all the cash ive spent on my stupid fone !!

I think im starting a new years res but early !! coz like its kewl to have nothing to change at the new year ! i just sit back and watch all the other twats change stuff !

oh yeah

!

 

Yeah !

50′s

i love it !

 

Leaving on a tank

People get angry when they are on the 8.30am bus..  Its busy, its wet sooo what !! dont frown..dont tut… dont squash me in the corner and look at me bad because I want to move off the stairs before the person behind me !

I love the bus !! I also love sexy webcamdancing !

Today Im all sore …. and its the best feeling ever !

I reallllllllyyyyy wanna bottle of wine tonight

First Bus ruining your night out

So these peps have came up with a new ad slogan !

I saw it on the bus this morning.

GREAT NIGHTS OUT IN GLASGOW END WITH A NIGHT BUS

Many a time has a GREAT night out in Glasgow been ruined for me by getting the night bus..

Drunken couples having a blazing argument, drunk guys starting on each other, being squashed amongst stinking alky dicks, people taking ages to get the right change out coz they that wrecked and like hello im bursting for a pee !!!

Aye so well done First.. Telling it how it is !

 

*disclaimer.. I could have made this funny… I know

Omgzzz im like on a school work experience week but in a day and im not at school no more !! wtf

In under an hours time I will be working with a landscape gardner… Something I have never done before but always wanted to try…

Was it rude of me to say I would only do half a day’s work?  I only said this because I wanted to come home clean my parents house for them and then get myself ready for the trek to Ardrossan with my dad so he can check out a car!

hmm anyway, Im sure it will be fun and interesting… I even downloaded some new tunes and will take          Li’l DB with me incase of any comedy photographic chances!  of course im not quuite sure what comedy gold photo moments one gets whilst landscaping but we will see…

Question: How many times a day do people brush their hair? Im just doing mine and Im thinking, i do it twice if im going out, once if im not .. is that normal ??

I made something last night I like but will leave the recipetiiiittannntt (cant spell) just all like wtf? why ? but it was just to bring a smile.. so I hope that the smile will come first before the wtf !!

Um so yeah, I better go.. gotta file my nails down coz I dont want them to break !!! how damn gurly of me !

 

Oh and if you are reading this.. a 10p mix up counts as a perfect surprise

gosh my hair is nearly touchig my shoulders !! that means its long!! yup it sooo does

This cunt does it again!!

Seriously not working is making this guy a true legend !! (ohh how ned did that sound) Anyway, here he has done it again with this great vid…

I decided to post it here so if anyone did want to comment on it the comments would be posted!! (oh do shut up!!) got there before u with that one bbz . x

 

I think you will all agree its sooooo LOL !!

Urban !

I like these !!

 

Its xmas coming up!! maybe I will buy them for myself?

 

Ps under the search to find my blog… someone searched “invitation to rape me” nipples.

Umm errr

Credit Crunch my thoughts

If we all go back to using Half pennies Im sure it will be fine….

Excuse me whilst I pretend a piece of plastic with buttons is a contrabassoon

Looks at these cunts !

Make me sick.. spastics

fucking spastics

Hmmmm

Sooo I just helped Fell a tree… it was ok… then I cut up all the branches and loaded them on the van… then I raked my little heart out… im sore.. but its worth it..

There was a tree in the garden over the wall, it had massive ripe ruby red apples on it. I wanted to be like Snow white and take a bite.. but a dare’nt do it…

Sometimes I dont like being a girl… i dont like all the crappy gay/lameness that comes with it.. Boys never get the way girls get… and im slowly starting to realise why guys get pissed off at gurls…

Slowly old habbits seem to be creeping back… I want to push them away and sometimes I do for months and months because I tell myself off.

Hmmm its like being a big fatty in a queue with other big fatties at the chocolate cake shop… u know they are all thinking Mmmmm choc cake but you want just a little slice bigger than theirs… but then you realise well they are entitled to that extra little slice aswell….and are prob thinking the same… but blah !!

get out of my head fatty cake lovers !!!

yeah I shouldnt post this it aint funny or anything but blah..!! sometimes you have to blog about normal stuff…

so tomorrow you can got the zoo for free… I might be going… this is good

Tonight im out !! whoopp whoop im going dancing !!!

Who are you? and who are you? and why now have you just noticed?

permatan !! ewww

lame

I have decided to get bebo to break !! yes thats what Im planning…. why ? coz its sad !! I hate it, I hate how people bebo stalk, how people leave hugs or do whatever they on that shit these days !! 

I do have one but I dont use it…. I dont delete it… I should delete it and vow never to go back !!  Coz how sad would that be If I went back? Answer very !!

So I think for my gay new years rez I will get rid of bebo… and maybe yes maybe myspaz even though I dont go on that either… I just need someone for my xmas to print out all the blogs I made on it !!  coz it has pics on it I like.

Im jealous maybe I think.. a bit … oh fuck!

Xmas CD’s

Every year they bring out these shit CD’s …

Xmas Hits !!

Is there a secret pact that they will never duplicate the cds? that every year they will leave out some songs from one cd so that they can put it on another??

How long before a cd comes out and its a duplicate from 10 years ago??

who buys these shit cds?

Belter

 

Anyone noticed how old Carol Fucking Smillie is looking on her new postcode lottery advert?

Wonder if the guys would still wank off over her if she was on a can these days?

Get off ma telly !

I loveeee music!!!

THISSSSSS MADE ME SMILE AFTER A SHIT DAY !!

 

TELLL ME WHAT YOU THINK !!!

(all comments posted)

Omgzzz I went geek lol !

I couldnt work out how to get my posts on my front page and actually looked into this !! omgz im a geek….

I made a new vid, uploaded it on my youtube, it wont mean anything to any of you probs.. but I know what it means…

Im behaving today !

nearly finished the xmas shopping !!

Oh and did you see what wordpress gave me !! SNOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohhhhhh and Mr B you gave me this little belter

agghhh!!

Aggh !!

I hate when people use my stuff !! Go into my space and take my spoon !!! its Mine !! not yours !!! dont fucking touch it, ! then you hear me moan and go Oh I took a spoon , is it yours !!

FUCK OFF !!

People are annoying me right now !!  and to many people are changing around !! 

and !

what the fuck have I done btw ?

 

good thing is tonight Im putting up my xmas tree and wrapping topboys presents !! and they are belters !

Flush

I made a new vid… it was just a joke at the expense of the Iphone and there shortened sequence (pointed out by mr b) well thought I would make him lol a little… dont know wether he did get it or not…

Anyway, there has been alot of views on it and tbh im not sure why.. its not fantastic… Im assuming its coz of pervs watching me doing what im doing… but anyway.. so far its at 904 views !!!

Here is the vid.. like I said its shit…

 

Im only wish I could get as many views as my rival !

This Sir is what is a real Vid Genious !!

Words can not desribe how much this boy makes my day!!

He always makes me smile ! (even when he mad)

Here are another couple of his amazing vids !!

Please note I am sooooo jealous of how amazing they are !

 

I think you will agree this guy is sooooooooooo LOL !!!!

BBZ :)

Urban 2 with <3

Ohhhh urban outfitters makes me sooo Mmmmmmmmmmmmm

I saw this watch, its guys uhuh but I loveee it !!  it comes in 4 funky colours !! im sooo loving the orange/black  N  purple/black  its a talking watch!! has the Logo cheapo on it and in those colours it makes it even cheaper !! Infact now Im loving the Gold !!! Bargain at 20£

 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh and then there is these !!! and they would go perfect with my little black dress..

Wat time is it again?

 

Oohhh I love this to but umm at 210£ its a bit much but soooooooooooooo pretty

 

so thats that !! omgzzzzz

Gurly made a new vid

Sooo the only wait to compete vid wise with the genious that is

http://davidbamford.wordpress.com/

Is well to ummmmm

Santa is coming and gosh im ever sooooo excited !

Well its started…

For those of you who know me I get excited about things… very excited… so much so sometimes im sick and cry… and now its started…

For the last 2 nights ive not slept properly.. why? COZ ITS NEARLY CHRISTMAS !!!!!!!

Its like all this excitement of giving gifts and a big meal and sweets and santa and crap tv and family and friends and going out having fun.. everything…. I love this excitment to bits and as much as it does make me overtired and cry I wouldnt change it for the world… im such a big kid…

The only problem that comes along with this excitement is I annoy people…. coz im excited I cant stop talking,txt,blogging,emailing,singing about the house….. and omgzz i hate to admit this… i will even talk in my head !! ok im wierd…

sooooo if I have annoyed you… please dont take it to heart…. just look at it as a cute thing… im 24 and more excited than a 12 year old !!

Oh my gosh im tired

Kinky Bastard

Agggghhhhh

This will help you if you have a little rage in you today !!

I enjoyed nothing  more than lethering the fuck out of every cunt in this game !! geek or non geek !! The slap noise was amazing !

Hmmmm

click here:

http://www.addictinggames.com/slapthenerd.html

and for just wierdness click here

http://www.addictinggames.com/letsrockandrollnoodles.html

aggghhhhhh

im not happy much today

Adverts!

Now as its xmas there are loads of ads on the telly the now and they probably do folks heads in.. However me no ! … I love adverts and especially aftershave and perfume ones…

This one omgzz you have no idea how many times I have dreamt I am the gurl in it…. Its not even his body.. its just the way he is sooo empowering standing over her and the way he moves in for the kiss.. Omgzzz Im in love

 

This one…..Mmmm its the end bit with them all just sitting there.

 

Anyway !! my new fav male one is this one.. coz omfgzzz he is sooo in control !! if he was to click at me .. swoooon

 

I love this one because its just luxury, thick, gorgeous, sexual… breathtaking

 

This one coz its just sooo sweet

 

Then there is this one cozzzz omgzz HOT !!

 

I love adverts !

Christmas + People + CreditCrunch + V.A.T drop = Tack !

Yes yes my equation is correct as is my spelling … ( I see those gasps)

Anyway !!  It aint most people that go for the tack it just seems to be Old people mostly and well my parents and oh me this year !

Was round  “The” Dons today and she had the thing below in her living room.. Now I cant mind of this but my mum can.. Pretty gutted like coz I think when i was a child (not much younger than I am now .. coz like im only 19) well I would have loved it !!

Major Tack

I mean thats like Granny porn !!!!! That make them get alll.. ewww infact I dont wanna say it !

Anyway !! then it turns to my parents ….. My dad bought this today ! WTF Tack !! and WTF has it got to do with XMAS ?

Ohhh and that was my dog Zeus getting his ebb in at the end of it !!

 

I will show you my tack later but thats with pics !

 

Cant wait for Xmas !! and Im very excited about the Christmas Extraveganza on Sunday   (please note spelln poss bad)

I <3 Urban 3

Gosh !!

I find something amazing everyday on Urban Outfitters Www dot!!

Today I saw this online:

Gorgeous necklace I totalllllyyy Love coz its just sooooo what I love

 

Its gorgeous !! It has a little letter inside of it !!  I mean you actually open this up and there inside is this little letter !! and omgzz its like 14£  bargain !!! I would sooo love one if these..  ooohhhhhhhhh!!!

And then there are these !! Now you may think they look blah and maybe not worth the 20£ but omgzz how good for pictures or vids !! uhuh !!

 

However I think they did get it wrong with these !!! BOkE

boke

Shhh

Its safe to say I dont know what to do…………….

Today

I goto the Zoo with yum boy…

I bet i cry .

 

Loser

 

Update! The zoo was fun.. we got to see the penguins and little monkeys and they made me smile… then we went for some food..

I was treated all day and felt very special !! I hate when i get treated though…  coz i dont like spending other peoples money

I didnt cry… well i done the gurl sniffle pathetic whimper but not a cry !! yassss Im manning up ! hahaha

Here is a little pic of 2 cheeky monkeys !

2 lil cheeky monkeys (gay)

Ohh sooo jealous !!

x

Hats !!

Its soooo cold out !!  I just walked the spazoids and my fingers have nearly fell off !! had I had a HAT then i would have been fine !

SupaDogTan

Supa fly SupaWank

SupaFonz

SupaSpazz

 

SupaLes

 

Oh shut the fuck up this is shit now

 

what a total wank blog !

Does anyone know how to stop a dog whinning his face off (if thats how u spell it) he is doing my box in !!!

txt txt txt txt

I love xmas txts but hate new year ones ? wats up wit that???

Its like sooo far ive had 8 new year txts !! eh hello im not smart person but I thought new year started after 12 night time on the 31st ? Not during the day !

Jeeezzz..

Oh yeah I do say I hate them but I will send a few !! to the special people ! not my WHOLE entire fone book !! Losers !!

ohhh i could have done this better !! 

 

txt u later !

Possible

There is something sexual about this… maybe its his mouth

^.^

Aggghhh

exactly !!!

and how the hell can you come to my page from a blog that aint on !!!

I went on bebo !! oh yes i did.. but only for a little bit…. i will stay.

however im not snooping or going from profile to profile !

I dont want to find things I dont like.

pow pow pow !!

16 days !! till tattooooooooooooooo

As crazy as….

Sooo Ive pretty much not stopped drinking for ummmm.. well it becomes a blur…  Im loving wine soooo much right now. it gets me super drunk though and then im all confussed..

This morn I called for a taxi and the woman says “where from hen” and im like “oh ummm I dont know” and she lolzed at me… I had to back.. ohhh its sooo bad..

Anyway, not done many updates just now. coz im a lazy jaked  up bitch.. I love this song.

Thank you sirs

Tattoo!

So today I went to get my tattoo started. (by the hot Soap at Labmunki) Omgzzz it was gid! i enjoyed every min of it and it wasnt sore ! there was one wee bit that tingled a bit, but i think i had got a bit tired so was feeling it more… but omgzzz i cant wait to go back in 2 weeks time !! Anyway..

Im getting this but the butterflies are a bit diff as you can see from my pic.. mine are gonna be the same colours though…

 

 

So today i got an hour and a half and got these

 

 

excuse my big shoulders hahaha.. Anyway ! already i love it, cant wait to get the rest done !!!

and maybe extend it

happy much?

Im going to Ikea today .. I think I must go there at least on average about once or twice a month… I like going and always find something to spend money I dont have on…

Im still very confussed about how people can come from a blog that aint working to my page.. it really is confussing me.. so therefore I think that wordpress’s stats are all lies.

I got sent a cute as pic yesterday.. it was a yum boy holding a koala.. sooooo cute..  It made me smile.. not seeing someone for like 4 odd weeks then seeing the hottest pic ever ( im into koala porn)  it made me sooo happy……. Im super excited !

that is all.. Im soooo excited … and sooooo happy…  and soooo cant wait !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah!

 

x

 

ohhh and its nearly v-tines day !

IM SOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY

WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE

Im not happy

I hate when you get news that you have kinda been dreading !..

Does absentance make the heart grow fonder ?

lolz i do think i was just funny there ! ohhh such a Sarah jess parker moment !

damn my fake emo heart!

Anyway ! yum boy !!! re-think !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smiles are enough  to keep you !

I cant cope with this badboi lifestyle Women,drink and fast taxi’s !

I get into a right state I do… Went out thurs got v drunk, got v txt happy (soz yum boy) friday I was v hungover..

Planned to stay in Fridaynight however nothing ever goes as planned so it seems .. So went out had the best time ever !! got totally wrecked…and today get out of bed at 3.45pm ! WTF !

whole day wasted ! however I got what I need to get for my special vid ! (yumboy your gonna love it) Sooo i must work on that… well once I stop spewing !

Ha !

I like this song

Who can wait ?

I can…

Im hoping this year is diff… im hoping that I can actually open my door from lack of cards !… I dont know why i said that, i hate when cunts say that..

stabbed up a dulyin

 

I do like v-tines day.. its a nice day…

Even though some aint here… (yumboy) Ive made you something special ! NON GAY aswell !!

Why am I even writting this.. he doesnt read this blog.

Anyway !

I like flowers..(daisy’s)

x

My tattoo Part 2

Hiyaaaa.

Well went to get my tattoo again yesterday.. it was bloody freezzzzinnggg and i was shivering away… had to stop to put my top back on for a bit !

Anyway… I got another butterfly done and this one coloured a little….

I love it !! it was a wee bit sore this time coz it was on my kidneys.. it seemed to be when he was doing the colour in bit…

Oh and a thanks to the guy who stopped my bus today ! V greatfull ! noticed I left my fone in the house, ran back.. only coz well i might get surprised romanced on the way home and i would need my fone to call the police !!

anyway so i ran back for fone and saw my bus, run run run on the ice and some guy stopped the bus for me passed the stop, the bus driver wasnt happy, but thanks though..

Pics

Bottom butterfly is the new one

close up

 

So there you have it… I am happy…..

Happy Valetines Day L’il D

Sooo me and l’il D couldnt spend valentines day together so the other night we shared a chinese….

L'il D had to be proped up against the brew

Anyway.. coz we couldnt spend time together today I couldnt give him his gift.. So I posted it to him…

What did I get a lil plastic man you all ask? well have a look ! (the excitment is to much ha! )

Something Red perhaps?

 A secret extra tack thing put it in aswell but I dont want to spoil the surprise !

All rosed wrapped

 

How pretty !! and Oh how would this all be posted ?

 

 

Soooo  a big envelope is awaiting L’il D … I hope he likes it..

Ohhh and if any of you are interested I didnt get any cards

I got a txt !!! ahhaha and that well it made me smile and lol.. you will see why yum boy !

Cup Cake Central

Today I made Cup Cakes

They are cute <3

CuppyCakeYum

These make me smile…. More to come !

I <3 my happiness

I dont think I could get any happier than I am now

Paper

Bored at work…..

 

 

 

 

What a hard day at work

Activia Turns You Into A Screaming Dyke

Hmmm .. Now as you know Im a big big fan of Activia and watch their adverts like alllll the time..

Anyway, Ive noticed that since Nell McAndrews has started eating Activia it hasnt only helped improve her digestive transit and replace the bad bacteria with good, it seems to have replaced her love for men…

I think Activia has turned her into a dyke !

See my before and after pics for proof !

Before

Hottie Hot Hot

 

After

Unhot rank dyke

 

Im not even sure if that is her.. but its short like that and she is now rank !! many agree..

Someone told me its coz she got married and had a kid…

I blame the Activia !

Coffee coffee coffee

I have not drank coffee in 2 months now (nor tea for that fact) but now Im considering having a cup!

Should I? it will blow my mind I know this for fact ! and if I do decide to have a cup where should I get it from?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

This is a lame blog I know

blah

I dont know the answer !!

I just want to smile….

it all makes me smile but sometimes not…

icecream melts to quick

Bring it back

I want it back !

It made me laugh and smile !

Everyday like a sad loser I check to see if its back but alas it is not….

You done it before bbz ! do it again !! for me !!!

sigh

Yes Mr B im talking to you !!!!

fatty boom boom

Ruth Rendall your a slag!

Slag

Ok so maybe she aint…

To Let Vid

Sooo the vid of me on the bog at my folks house has now reached over 10,000 this is a big deal for me .. why? well coz omgzz my mums bog is getting famous !

Its interesting for me to see how people get to my vids…

These are the vids they view to get to mine

1. sister on toilet without toilet paper
2. Marion dans les chiottes ( après moi ^^ )
3. Ultimate Girl Farts
4. Alyssa on Toilet
5. ShortbusXixi.wmv
6. Who Films Their Mom Pooping
7. Tanya on the can
8. Wow, Emily.
9. lorna on the dunny .3gp
10. jill santos mi amigo en el baño

They also check out my vids from a few people who have added me                       (thank you kindly)

The following searches on words are used:

1. anything mac can do
2. ashlynn bathroom
3. mac pee
4. no toilet paper felicia on
5. fun 002
6. random picture me toxic rose keyboard girls bat
7. “kacken”
8. sxyphl
9. pee wiping
10. francis
11. cgi live action urinal bky
12. pussy piss pee
13. chenilles chiottes pate
14. touching pussy peeing
15. dump toilet poop
16. anything you can do pee
17. fart farting girl ass booty toot queef gas chees

I love it, coz im always searching “pee wiping” in youtube!!! however i am loving number 17 !! hahahah tooot !

Anyway ! Always nice to see I have daily hits with this vid and it is 94% males !

fuck this

It cant get more exciting than this on a friday night !

Pure fucking excitement

topped off with a bit of

Oh am feeling it

OMGZ Have I saw this one?

Yeah thats my friday ! how great ! the excitement is pouring out me.

Something better shake it up a lil !

Dream………….

a little……….

 

omgz

Well.. yesterday I found out that Mr Yum is going away to work for a while…

Its the best thing ever for him…he deserves it

I told him a secret…

eh aye

Tuneeeee

I forgot about this gid tune…

Stupid head !

I love adverts we all know this.. but I hate this one.. and when i say hate, I mean I like really really hate it ! This doesnt want to make me buy the car ! not that I would want a car coz I cant drive.. infact this doesnt even make me want to drive ! This advert is a total fail in my book !  I wish FORD would just realise it and get this shit off the tv !

 

Now what else is bugging the fuck out of me today? Hmm being hungover ! didnt get out my bed till like 3pm ! whats that all about ! total waste of a day,infact weekend ! Next week I think Im gonna do a major detox ! NO fizzy pop, NO rolls on sausage! NO redbull !!!! NO Sweets ! (not that I eat much) but still ! im detox’n and doing some exercise ! woop woop!

Counting down the days till I have to say bye.. now that is a major suck. I hope the goodbye is just for 6mths and not forever . 

Planning a big birthday surprise ! So I dont have long.. its gonna be the most specialist one ever ! This week ive totally shocked myself.. ive done something I never ever thought I would have the guts to do… and when I done it I thought oh no disaster ! but nope… and that made me but still… there is time……..

cupcakes tomorrow!

I wish I may, I wish I might

I <3 U love letter

 

Yeah?

 

write me

 

Love

 

These are gorgeous… <3

More tattoo

Today i went and got more of my tattoo done. I love getting it done.. its the most amazing feeling !! I was nearly sleeping again when getting it done. I got the top 2 butterflies coloured

Yum!

Me with a butterfly

My tattoo

lets go down to the beach

So… as you all know Mr Yum is now back from his travels.. so I thought for his return I would do something to make him smile a little coz well he has came back to non sunny glasgow and would maybe be a lil bit   turns out he aint really, he is just perfect and ohhhh sooo gorgeous with his all over body tan and shaved feet… Gosh Im lucky!

Anyway… I thought I would do this for him..

Fancy making a sand castle?

 

Fancy a little paddle?

 

Oh the sun is out

 

hehehe .. my very own beach side apartment in the sun ! I then stole his idea (prev I had made him a Cow parsley shirt so he could stand next to his Cow parsley wall paper)

*gasp* not cow parsley!

Can you see me?

 

I then gave him a selection of gifts that I had been purchasing over the 8 weeks that he had been away for they were in a box with this on the top. ( i made it from paper)

Sydney Opera House

 

He was surprised… which is what I wanted… another silly thing to look back on. Mr Yum then gave me the most amazing gifts ever (hmm well xmas was pretty special oh and was that time he sent me a card in the post in 2 diff colours of writting coz the pen ran out) but yeah the most amazing gifts ever and they were wrapped in News paper from diff countries.. It made me smile loads and loads.. he is very thoughtfull. He brought me a can of Sweat which we opened on Sunday.. it was not very nice at all.

Special Coca Cola

Oh that cola was amazing because it had funny writing but mostly coz of the ringpull ! look at it ! its old skool ! you have no idea the joy and excitement I felt when i opened that! it was sooooo good !!! I urge everyone to try it ! maybe that is why I was dissapointed at the SWEAT coz it didnt have that ring pull .. hmmm

Anyway ! I also got this and omgzzzzz how cute ! it reminds me of a pic Mr Yum sent and in that pic he was holding one of these lil guys.. but wow the pic.. In it he is the happiest Ive ever seen him.. well apart from when he is in my company.. but its a happy pic.

cute

So there you go ! What a lil adventure into yet another part of my world…

Remember all the good things… that way well it makes us smile before the bad part.

x

Spring is here !!!!!!!!!!!!

Woohoooo !!

The sun is out !!!!  and here is the spring song !!

Happinesssssssssssssssssssss…

and omgzz Mr Yum is taking me to the butterfly farm !!!!  how amazing is he ?

Totally amazing !!!!!!! thats what

x

Fake mothers day aka Smell yer maw day

Yes it got renamed by Miss GinGin…

Anyway yesterday my brother, my mum and my fine self headed for the city of Edinburg(h) it was fun… We went to the museum although many parts were shut.

I did have time to make this from there though

I also managed to pull myself up on the chair pully lift thing, my bro failed my mum failed but me I won !

We also went to many other places including the Jazz Bar.. which was wayyyy kewl ! I wanna go again..

jazz bar

 

more jazz

The art galleries were also good if not a little empty

echo echo echo

I saw some of Bob Dylans work, I didnt like it.

Anyway ! the whole day was

flip reverse turned upside down (MoM)

there was more stuff to tell but lets be honest you aint gonna read it !

Oh and for all that are interested Womanizer is now back on Youtube !!

Snog Marry Avoid does The Godfather

Yet again Mr Yum does it again !!  This is one of the best yet !!!!

Snog Marry Avoid  do you watch it ?? Its well loll.. they take tarty burds with their big fat tits hanging out and loads of make up and make them natural.. sometimes they look worse but hmm..

Anyway Mr Yum made this:

 

I looooveeeeee it !

Jus like…..

Press Play ………….

 

 

Little Love Light

<3

A big fake birthday !

Today is Mr Yums fake birthday ! I have a surprise planned for him ! I hope he likes…  The sun is shining so it should all goto plan !!

Today is gonna be fun !!!!!!!! and something to remember … 6 days till he goes ! Oh my !! how exciting for him !

I love birthdays !! fake ones are fun to !! coz it still means the real thing is to come !!

Big Smiles !

Ohhh and did I mention Mr Yum took me to Amazonia !! it had monkeys bats toucans loads of stuff !! and 1 butterfly ! he thought there was loads but just the one and that made it all the more special !!

Thank you Mr Yum !

x

Amazoniaaaaaaa

Gosh! Where do I start?

Well as you know Mr Yum is away to Dubai… he left today…. Gosh I miss him already !!!

Anyway, I told you all before he took me on a lil daytrip to Amazonia ! Well here are some pics…

Toucan cute!

 

Two perfectly beautiful things

 

Little Frog

 

bushbaby

 

So there you go. I had a great time with Mr Yum… he makes me smile.

Mr Yums Fake Birthday

As Mr Yum is away to Dubai I planned to have his birthday early for him incase he was not here on the day. 

So the Fake Birthday was planned…

Fake Birthday

Mr Yum got some pretty presents and some scrummy sweets but he also got a little surprise..

What a cool guy

 

Yes he got his own little special hat and glasses… (i made that hat)

So yes.. he was going flying.. so off we went to the Airport.

I always notice this in the car (elastic bands)

 

Anyway… we got there and off he went….

Ok so im rubbish at filming ! and its hard to see a plane in the sky on a sunny day !

After this we went for a little drive and then Mr Yum decided we were going to the pics. We went to see Monsters Vs Aliens..in 3D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Now I hate the pictures, but I really really wanted to go with Mr Yum… and it was sooo Amazing !! I have never ever ever experienced anything so kewl !! it even topped Asimo the Honda robot. After the pics we went for a chinese then back to my bit. It was a great day.. I had ever so much fun.

Mr Yums Easter Eggstravaganzzzaaa

Again.. as Mr Yum is away.. I had a fake easter for him…

We had a cracking time

 

Easter Eggstravaganzzzaaa (easter egg hunt)

 

Easter Eggstravaganzzzaaa (easter egg hunt)

Easter Eggstravaganzzzaaa (easter egg hunt)

Easter Eggstravaganzzzaaa (easter egg hunt)

 

So most enjoyable you would say !! and it was !!!  Again another amazing night with Mr Yum.. I dressed up as a bunny for him. heheh.   We also went to Ikea and I was sooo happy.. how sad but I was. Mr Yum then bought me a yummy curry ! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

<3

ive been thinking about you

:)

<3

Randomzz

Gosh !! my weekend has been sooo random !!  ended up in manchester yesterday to see pink then we drove to blackpool got our tack gifts then back up the road for 4.45am!!

It was the coolest ROAD TRIP ever for TEAM MEAT MACHINE !!!!  Had a great time with my girls !!

 

So Mr Yum has now been away for 2 weeks and yeah I miss him !! who wouldnt !!  I miss the smiles and his gorgeousness !! YUM!! I posted off little things to him yesterday so I hope the Dubai let them in !!  Coz if not.. well awwww  I took pics though incase he didnt get them so he can see what it was. Im all heart

So im thinking of getting another tattoo.. something personal to me but im not sure, its gonna be small.. I just cant decide if I should…. I will have a think.

I went for a sunbed today.. first time since ummm ages ! i feel a bit red but im not… it made my freckles show !! hahahah

I dont have much to say coz im soooooo tired.. I plan to make a new vid this week… I hope it works out.

Here are some pics!

Mr Yums easter gift to me !! it was YUMMMY

 

Gnome Adventure

 

I like tea

 

twogirlsonebucket

 

gimp

I spy with my little eye

Oohhhhh <3

I <3

said it b4 but Yeah?!

for now………

giggle

Soooo whats been happening? this week ive been off on holiday and helping out gardening.. it so far has been a very hard week !!

I found my dream garden in Edinburgh… I wished it that I would have a garden so beautiful when I am older.. I can sit outside and have picnics or sit and make craft things.. lay amongst the flowers and the butterflies… I took a few pics but thought I best stop because the nice old woman might get cross…

Another garden was full of snails.. they were racing each other to the next tasty leaf…or maybe not.. but the man was cheery enough and seemed to like me a bit to much lol

Today though..omgzz hard hard work… i was tired when I started and even more tired now…

so its now been 4 weeks since Mr Yum went off on yet another exciting adventure… yesterday I found out that Dubai post me do like me and they delivered his parcels that were sent of ummm 2 weeks ago? Mr Yum has been keep me up to date with his adventures and I must say it makes me smile ever so…

I am excited about his return.. even though he does not know when.. but I am excited as I hope that it will be on his real birthday !!! ohhh the excitement of this is to much..ehehehe even more exciting would be that it would be on my birthday that he would return…but this may not happen… but I wish it soon …coz i want a squeeze and to hear laughter and smiles rather than just see…

Did I tell you I am happy? I am ! I sit in my dress and my curls and I think, gosh ! I am happy !!

I am a princess !

hehe I am not…..

Crookers soon !!! woop wooop !! something good this month !! for those who know me, omgzz crookers baaabbbyy!!!!

love it !!

I am not a ned!

I smile

its my birthday soon

I may buy this for my birthday present to myself…or maybe someone will buy me it ?

Goldie looking gnome

I got a number 9 on my keyboard do you?

Alot of this confuss me… but one always more than others….

It happens every so often and I never question in it aloud only in my head.

If I do question it aloud then excuses are always made to blanket me.

Why?

In other news its now week 8… yet it feels only like a week…however no sign of the weekend …

9 days !

19 days!

OMGZ excitement much?

I may be going to Canada ! oh canada!

I may run away with a circus ! my head is that much in the clouds just now.

I have no answers

A birthday wish….

I never really ask for presents at all.. (honest I dont)

but i really really really really hope that I get this for my birthday..

Amelie!

 

This film makes me smile ever so…

all cool people <3 spoons

 

all so magical

 

Sooo there it is

Much?

I <3 Dubai and Mr Yum

Omgzz !!

Never ever ever ever did I think this dream would come true!!

Mr Yum… omgz he flipped reversed my birthday and brought me to Dubai !!! he also brought me the wonders of the Desert!! 4×4 style… Camel riding… dolphin kissing.. water park ringing and much much more… But most importantly … I got to see him and have the biggest smile ever to last me the rest of my life!!

I dont think I could ever thank him enough !!!

Let it be known that he is the bestest ever in the whole wide world !!

Gorgeous

 

Also Gorgeous

 

The most gorgeous

 

hahahhahahaha lolza pic!!  but omgzzz this is exactly how i feel !!.. big smiles excited !

So I got there and was just like OMGZ WOW!!! and this continued the whole trip! every night i cried with excitement!!

Ive never ever ever been treated like this.. and it will never ever be forgotton.. a dream came true…

love

and

happy real birthday mr yum

x

i iz 2 cute* yes?!?

<3

Its my birthday today

it is …

and it started ummm early all thanks to Mr Yum !

ive had the best gifts and cards and awwww im soooo happy… obv nothing is gonna top what Mr Yum done for my bday ! biggest surprise Ive ever had ! ever !

hehehheeheh

this is what it feels like to be happy !

x

why do they say its golden?

and so it happens again….

                                                     its the strangest thing………….

      why it happens I doubt I will ever know..

mr yum

Im cried a few tears of excitement last night ! why ????

OMGZZZ  let me tell you why!!

COZ

<3

 

IS HOME IN 13 DAYSSSSSSS !!! 

I have a surprise planned for him that really was his idea hhahahahah.. Cant wait to see him

even though it will only be for a few hours but OMGZZZ nothing could be better !

cant wait !

GO ON !!

dare you to

 

that was loud

 

<3

ITS TIME, ITS TIME, OMGZ WOW ITS TIME!

<3

 

OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ TOMORROW !!! MR YUM WILL BE HERE !!

I AM THE HAPPIEST MOST LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD !!!!

WENT GEEK ON THAT

OMGZ OMGZ OMGZZ !!

IVE HAD THE BEST WEEKEND !! MR YUM WAS ON GREAT FORM AND OMGZZ DID HE MAKE ME SMILE !!

I HELD A LITTLE QUIZ SHOW FOR HIM WHICH HE WON OF COURSE (will upload pics and vids later)  HE WAS A GREAT CONTESTANT !!

THEN HE SURPRISED BE BY….

OMGZZZ IM GOING TO DUBAI AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEPTEMBER !!

CANT WAIT !!

THANK YOU MR YUM

XXX

its back……..

At last my youtube is back…. well not my old selftappingscrewkit one

This one….

http://www.youtube.com/lolzaloids

enjoy!

Quiz

Soooo I had a quiz for Mr Yum.. I had great plans great plans indeed…  however I did not have enough time to sort these all (only 4 weeks) so yeah I failed

I wasnt happy about it but oh well… he missed out on belly dancing ! with proper skirt and tassles ! Clap sign! (on my blinds) me actually being a proper quiz host

not an embarassed lame one… the challenge ! the boobie prize.. and loads more.. Sorry Mr Yum

Anyway… when he came in I sat him down and let him watch these vids….

 

 

How could he fail to not love this !!!

He won many good prizes !! my fav being the dodgy prize ! A cup with the pic of him and the dolphin !!! ahhh forever will that day be in his mind

when he drinks from the cup… milk milk lemon…………

 

I had fun…

Now I must wait another 5/6 weeks for his return …..I better get thinking

gin gin <3

I love this toooooo much !

my bros finance made it … its her being him dedicating his love to her

gin gin you are lol

Jellybean dream

 

I <3

This song makes me like loads… and today well it made me laugh sooo much..

Blondie made these girls little dirty dirtys ! specially the one bouncing up and down !! shame about the glasses!

Im got :)

Everything is good just now……. im getting back to the way I was before…..

I love when its 17:06  every day it makes me smile….

how sad is that ! but its the simple things…

Cant wait for oct !! sooooo excited !!

Cant wait for Hotel Corridors !

im good…  and omgzz that boy is yum!

wow !

ohhhhh where do i start ? Where ???

in nearly 9 days im gonna be in dubai again !! im gonna be seeing the one thing that makes happy right to that tiny bit in my TINY tummy! omgzz Dubai Coca Cola !!

and of course Mr Yums smile ! ( ok that was a little gay) but OMGZZZ I cant wait !! and cant believe im actually gonna be there again !! the gurl who never went on holiday never ever well i did a bit obv but not like this !! Dubai twice in one year ! omgzz hello ! This time its 8days ! 8 whooollleee days of everything beautiful and cool !!

I am without a doubt the happiest girl in the world !!

 

anyway.. enough of the gay lame rubbish… Pics are to be made !! vids to be uploaded !! a little bit different that before…

FUN FUN FUN !

I do have a little fuzz in my head.. that i think needs to be removed.. im scared to talk incase…

Oh im gonna go try my new bikinis on !!

<stretches> Oh hello dubai

WoW

What can i say? Again it all totally blew my mind !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love dubai ! its like wow !!! I cant explain it.. I never ever thought I would cope in such heat… that I would like it.. feel comfortable but I do !! and omgzz I cant wait to go again.

I was sooooooooo lucky ! this time i went for 7 days ! and the gorgeous Mr Yum was very brave to put up with me for so long…. but i know he enjoyed me being there, waking him up at 7am with my terrible singing !! Gosh I love this man !!

This time I went to SAGA world which is known to the outsiders as SEGA world !! and wow wow wow !! totalllllyyyyy amazing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so much fun was had and mr yum felt a little blah after hahahahhaha… We also went to the water park and I went on the big scarey chute !(leap of faith dubai)  and 1st i may add… It was sooooooo omgzz scary and my top came off hahaha so everyone got an eyefull… talk about a whoops !!

Actually speaking of Whoops !! Me and Mr Yum made Whoops vids !! very lol and seem very popular !

I had such an amazing time! ive left with some very very nice pictures ! and one pic that made me smile alllllllll night ! and well eveytime i think about it Im smiling !

Happiest girl in the world !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats me !! and all because he is the way he is and I love him for it !  he takes chances !

(gay’d up totally but please just shut up and take it)

x

 

pics will follow

Dubai in pics!

At last….. My Dubai Pics !!!

 

my favourite place

 

That Building Tiger Woods Done That Thingy From

 

Beach View

 

Water Boat

 

Tinky Lane

 

Mall Art

 

Water Works

 

The Metro

 

Squiggle Squiggle -Starbucks-

 

The Gorgeous Mr Yum

 

Dubai Street Art

 

Dubai Halloween

 

Dubai Halloween Outfit

 

So Not as many as last time but still some really amazing memories !! 

I <3 Dubai ! and Gorgeous Dubai Street Art ! xxx

Teknology

 

I <3 teknology

So its 3d week on Chan 4 starting on Monday.. Im kinda excited.. I love teknology geekology like this..

Im looking forward to seeing if it actually does work.. My Tv is practically 3d anyway its soooo big so I reckon I could just get a quality street wrapper and it would work (the yellow one)

lol i used to love doing that when i was younger.. actually i would still do it now..

So Sainburys is giving the glasses away free!! I should know i reckon I have about 60 pairs..  why so many you may ask? well im planning on making a dress… even Mr Yum guessed this !! im predictable now it seems.. or maybe he just knows me.. either way Im making a dress and OMGZ im gonna be 3d or maybe I should make a bra n pants again like the Irn Bru ones?

 

fizzy,ginger,not phenomenal

Now that would be something.. a 3d bra top and then u had to look at it through 3d glasses omgzz hello!!

someone (person will remain nameless) actually sent me a link for a 3d porn site!! soooo cool… this is basic tecknology and I love it!

Anyway Im looking forward to watching the 3d telly Derren Brown and some other magic guys doing tricks for me..  like they are actually in my livingroom.. I mean really I could just go  and  see a magic show but then i dont get to sit and pick my nose and wat not in a magic place now do I…

Oh and on a completey unrelated subject… Mr Yum had said to me he had a countdown for me.. it was going to be called “the event” Plan A…. but also a Plan B.. (honestly he thinks of everything) well unfort Plan A aint going to be able to go ahead.. I dont know what it was… but I bet it was amazing because well Plan B is going ahead and OMGGZZZZ its sooo amazing so I can only Imagine Plan A was to… so Plan B well

Im going back to Dubai !!! OMGZZZZZZZZZ im such a lucky girl !!! so im going at the end of Jan for a long weekend.. which im hoping he will allow 7 days .. coz I would like to just chill in the sun… and not be a pest and totally behave and not wake you up early in the morn with my singing.. sorry not wake him up….. im sooo excited and soo happy and I get to go up the biggest buidling in the world ! wow wow wow !!!

I <3 Dubai

As i write all this two little kittens are biting and licking me and trying to catch the keys on the comp… Im kitten sitting for my friend for her little kitties Sebastian and Dexter.. sooo cute..

anyway

teknology and geekery.. dubai and smiles…

I <3 to much to mention right now !

x

OMGZ I Soooooo Am!

OMGZ omgz omgzzz its soooooooooooo amazing!

what ??

omgzz thissssssss

wow wow wow

YES !!! thats right!!! omgzzz im going back !! and this time !! im going up the tallest building in the world !!! OMGZ !!! soooo happy!!

Mr Yum is truely toooooo good to me!!!!

Cant wait !!! 9th Feb is soooo soon :0

I made a vid… it is shit

I havent made one in ages…. and well it shows !

Im going to ikea today….

What fun…
the story of ikea
i love it
i hated it
i loatttheeeddd it
i love it once more

will anything happen there today? or will i just eat meatballs ?

je renifle mes chaussettes (f9)

Soooo that is me back from the glorious Dubai and the HOTTTT Mr Yum !

I had yet another amazing time…. I was sooooo happy to see Mr Yum and get a squeeze from him… He looks hotter than ever !! like wowowowoow!

This time in Dubai .. well I didnt get up the big building coz it was closed Hmmmm how could this be ! and I didnt go to the water park as it wasnt really that Hot ! and Mr Yum didnt wnat to take me hahahha.

He took me see this…omgz get excited !! coz I was as you can telll !!!

All very awwwwsummmmm !!

This happened at Monster Truck show aswell and I thought lol lol lame

Here are some other vids from Dubai…

I love this water foutain in the mall

I saw this one day when I went down to Festival City so I could go and see the Panda Store and Visit Ikea.. lame i knowwwwww

I would love to do it but it freaks me out be in a big bubble like that…

Yes Oh!  I kept making vids when I wanted to tke a pic.. I love these palm trees like soooooo much!

And here it is my TallestBuilding IN the world ! I love it soooooo much!!! I but fell on its side..

Sparkle Sparkle….

And here is my lame attempt of a Vtines day for Mr Yum.. He got cooler suff like presents and I dressed up that was obv the best part for him!

What more could you really want !!!

I also went down the Creek on a boat with my friend Dave.. it was fun!

Now for some picturesssssss

Shinnneeeyyy

Night life in Dubai

Festival City

Pretty Palms

Mmmm Yum!

I had a really good time in Dubai… Mr Yum was righ it is nice to go away when everyone else is grumpy in the snow… I cant wait to go back soon! I hope he lets me go in…. hahah

I really am the Happiest Girl in the World !

I never ever ever ever would have thought that I would have ever wen to dubai ! let alone 3 times ! he is v good to me that much is true.

I <3 Mr Yum and Dubai

A Treat! 4th

month

Whilst im trying to Derron Brown myself another Trip to Dubai here are some other pics for you guys to have a wee look over!

(as i left my laptop at my bit I cant do my chat blog thing)

As you can see I had fun….

TALLEST BUILDING IN THE WORLD

 i cant wait to go up there…..

GETTING HENNA

LOOKING LIKE A DICK

STANDING NEXT TO NUTS LOOKING LIKE A DICK

AT THE BASSTAAA CAFE

yes

NEWWW SHOESSS

HAPPY AS ON MY BOAT !

UP THE CREEK

$$$$$

$$$$$

april

aww dubai i wanna see you

so there we have it ! dubai ! how I love it soooooo…. it makes me smile sooo  much when im there I hope mr yum lets me go back real soon !! i dont wanna wait months

i am the luckiest…

thank you for always making me smile

tru love russian style!

Ive met my true love!!! She is from Russia.. she is called Katya… she is petite!!! Let me translate… Its a Nigerian Man… but lets not tell her Im a girl…

Sooo I think I got an email saying this:

Hi, may be strange, but I could not ignore your profile.This type of man to draw me, I want to know you better with your permission.May be you whant to see some more of ny photos?I would be happy to answer your. Katya!

saucy slut

I knew it was lies so I replied, hi to you.. and I got this…

Hello!Thank you for taking the time to answer me. I am now at work and the risk of being noticed by my boss, who objected to my working hours flirt with men on the Internet. yet she goes on later to complain about men who are after one thing.. yet she tells me she flirts with men online ??

I think that first of all I have to introduce myself, my name isEkaterina, I am 27 years old. I think that you have already guessed that I live in Russia, my city of Saint Petersburg, Leningrad region.Do you know where to find my city? if i cared maybe I would look It is located in north-western Russia, near the border with Finland.A beautiful city, but boring. Plus ca us almost the whole year round because of the cold northern location. I think that if you are clever, sociable and honest person, we will be able to quickly find a common language. would that common language be money? I am always glad to new acquaintances, but acquaintances through the Internet for me, something new and I do not know if it’s working, but try to be.

I am now free from the relationship, so if you want to take care of me, I would be happy:)) I work as editor of the newspaper “Life”. I think you can imagine what it is. As journalists, I, I graduated from the faculty of journalism in St. Petersburg.I studied over 5 years, 2 of 5, I studied English. Although my English is not very good, I hope you will forgive me if I make mistakes in the letter? you studied english and journalism yet ur english is crap? beats me Now I live in an apartment of my parents, it is small, but I have enough space.

My parents are not with me unfortunately.Dad died in 2004, my mother went through a year after his father. Incidentally, my father was a Russian, a German mother. They met in Germany when my father was studying there on exchange. I forgot to ask you, you are not worried that I’m from Russia? I do not know how do you feel about the girls from Russia? Perhaps you were surprised when they saw that I live in Sweden? what the hell are you talking about ? where did it say sweden? All this is explained by the fact that the agency had not taken my Russian address in the registration and I had to do a little trick. so you play tricks do you? not that honest are you then really? despite going on again about honest men blah blah yawwwnn
Of course I regret that we now can not go together to have a cup of coffee, due to the distance between us. so what there was no distance between me and sweden? helloooo did you ever study geography?? do you know where to find my country?? But in any event, any distance can be reduced if desired. you mean if i transfer money into your account

In general, I think that it’s not a problem, and you? I hope we will be able to communicate normally. For me, easy to communicate with you, because I am a simple girl and simple. “Without the king’s head” – as told my father:))To me there is not a drop of pathos inherent in many modern girls do not know good or bad?I just like an open book in front of you, but I must tell you immediately that I ische only serious relationship, marriage, family and all that this should be!No virtual sex and neither of dirt, I do not accept! I hope you have a real man and will not give all sorts of dirty jokes?I want to have a serious relationship with foreign men, because I believe that they are more serious and have more lenient attitudes.

I have never been married and I have no children, and that you? Do you have children? Are you married? If you are not married, who handles cases in the home: laundry, cooking and other household items? nosey bitch!! I believe that a man without a woman is difficult to cope with all the affairs of the house?I attached a few of my photos to this letter and I look forward to you the same! I await your response if it is followed. I wish you good mood and a good day.Sincerely, Katya!

She doesnt like any of that dirt yet likes to grab stone cocks

She talks alot dont she !!! I couldnt be fucked with that …
however I replied…..

I will post her reply later…

I do not want to flatter you but……

Oh thinks seem to be going good with katya ! So far we have exchange 3 or 4 emails each.. as I said I didnt keep the email I sent to her and she has a habbit of not replying with history however the email after this one I did keep… Now what does my Nigerian Prince(es) have to say today…

You may not want to disappoint me? Very kind of you. (i thought so) I do not want to flatter you, but I was lucky to be with you. (when were we together?? what did I fall asleep again!!! ) Before you do I come across men who are interested in Virtual Sex, or just write me a complete nonsense. ( I would never do that as a man) I am almost disappointed, thinking that it’s a bad idea to seek love on the Internet believe that it is not really find a good man through the Internet. ( no because really katya you cant trust anyone on the internet!!!) You dispelled my doubts, you seem to me perfectly normal and pleasant, I am right? (well ive been meaning to tell you ummmm)

Let me tell you about myself a little more, how it is possible to describe in the letter. (you do seem to talk alot about yourself, even when I dont ask about you) For me, it is important that you have the representation of me.I will help you create a physical representation of me. ( why? you are sending me plenty of pictures.. i know what you look like) I am not a great growth, my growth 168 cm, while I veshu 48 kg.I think that I am not a bad figure, is in my genes and I do not have to disappear for hours in the halls of fitness to keep himself in shape. (hahahahahhaha is all i can say ) For me to lead an active life than I do. I love sports, summer, often doing scamper. (scamper? where you eat scampy? where you scamper away to a little hidey hole? where you hide from the real nigerians in ur village?? )

In the winter time I can with my friends to go to the rink or go skiing ( In nigeria???? ) We in Russia are many good ski resorts.The most famous resort – it was “Krasnaya Polyana”, which is located in the city of Sochi, there will be the winter Olympics in 2014. Perhaps you have heard about this? Interesting (really is it ? I mean you seem to cut it off quick.) , but how you spend your spare time? What are you doing? ( i like to email back pretend russian women and then blog about it you??) In my free time I like to read books, go to the theater or museum.I love movies, often with girlfriends go to cinema. And you? I prefer drama or adventure.My favorite movie is called “Fountain”, it withdrew Darran Aranofski, which is my favorite director.I love going to the pool, in my childhood I was engaged in swimming. In fact, when my work is my little free time. (yawwwwwwnnnn me me me me)

If I have a free minute, I spend it in the kitchen, always loved to cook, I say not bad at it.(good you can be my slave) Life in Russia is unusual, accounting for a lot of work to ensure a smooth stay. I hope you do not think our dialogue unnecessary and inappropriate? ( planting the little seeds that you work to hard.. its ok i dont mind that inapporiate that you soon wish to ask for money its ok ) I hope you feel that this will lead to serious results? If you do not trust me, there’s no point to continue, (me not trust you.. the thought never crossed my mind) but if you believe that this can turn out something more, I will be very happy to continue correspondence. ( you would be happy anyway so dont give me it, im your king baby im your king!! )

Good that you like me are free from that, there is nothing to limit us in our communication. I believe that the relationship with a married man will not lead to anything good. I have over two years trying to find a serious relationship, but because I was looking in Russia, it did not lead to anything real.My last relationship ended two years ago, they did not have success, I changed my guy with another woman.( this makes no sense.. u went lesbo? or ur guy dumped you for a woman? ) Naturally, I immediately severed all ties and do not wish to support them. Frankly, in my life were three men. But I was not lucky.Recently, a man can not offer anything other than sex, it is sad, but I hope not one of them? I want to believe that you are passionate and gentle man! (sometimes I want to believe that to )

In fact, I apsolyutny aptimist, all the failures I have met with a smile and faith in the future. If you smile more often, the world around you smile in response.If, despite the distance, you are interested in me, then I’m happy. I have time to bid farewell to you. I hope that tomorrow at lunch, I find your answers to my questions.By, by, Katya!

and with that my sweet princess and I parted.. well until today…

So along with that email my beauty sent me 2 more pictures.. Im sooo lucky to have such an attractive woman want me.. it makes up for the fact that she talks sooo much!!

as guetta says \

in the words of Jason Donovan.. Seallleddd with a kiss

She didnt wish to flatter me… yet she did… so I just had to reply to my princess…

Hi,

Thank you again for such a lovely big email.. always lots to read with you … aint there.

virtual sex? no no that is not my style, really what is the point in that? you cannot show your love through virtual sex.. when we meet. I will show you what it is like to be in love.. ( this was me trying to see if she would mention anything about not being able to afford the flight… it costs alot from nigeria)

love on the internet i admit it is very strange. I would never put myself forward for anything like that.. you hear about all these false women and men on the internet and this scares me.. how someone could lie to someone.. ( i do wonder if they would click at this bit at what i was getting at?? ) I am lucky that i have found you well you found me but i am lucky.. you are honest.. not like the rest I hear about. (hahaha right at ya!)
I was surprised to get an email from you because I dont know where you got my email address from? was it the dating site? or maybe a friend of a friend? (again i say I would never do internet dating yet did she find my details on a site? honestly my comedy talents are lost on her/him)

I like how you say you are not great at growth.. that is funny way to say it you are petite ! perfectly formed as what i can see from your pictures ! you take a good picture ! i like the differnet ones you have sent.. different poses. you seem like a fun girl.. are you a fun girl> do you like to have fun? you always smile that is important. ( i thought i better romance a bit!! i mean if im gonna get them to send me funds! )

my spare time. i like to make pottery.. i also like to dress up as I am in films sometimes, small films for small companies.. I worked along side bob monkhouse ! have you heard of him?
I actually was i n a film with a russian man.. it was called ” Run like the wind to Russia” it was a good film, i enjoyed making it, the russian man.. Peter his name was.. well that is what it transflated to. he is a good man.. (( yes i have a great imagination))

If i was a married man I would not write to you.. because that would be wrong.. i believe in love. and to cheat on your wife no! they have a saying here ” your wife she is for life” this means that your wife will always be with you forever !!! this is how it should be yes? a good loving honest marriage! ((wtf am i talking about.. i try to see how much rubbish i can talk in one email to her/him))

you ask if i am a gentle man.. gentle yes of course ! again a hard harsh man would never take time to write to you no no no… (ohhh i crack myself up)

are you happy in russia? or do you wish to be in another place?? i have travelled many countries… but i love home the best.

it may be a distance away from you.. but our emails with bring us closer and then maybe.. if I am lucky, i could visit you? or you me? of course I would not expect you to pay .. (giving some bait ! )

I hope to hear from you very soon, i wish i did not have to wait until tomorrow to hear from you again my sweet.

yours

x

so there you go ! this is what I write to my princess.. my my she is lucky! find out later what she replied to me !!

do you view me as a sex object?

Holllddd up!!! My smokin bitch be back rat a tat tat’n at my email door….. Wow ! I sure got a way with the Nigerian Men !!! wooohooo ! they must see me as some hell of a guy!!!! Guys lock up your ladiessss I beee a heart taker!!

Today my princess says:

Hello, my dear! I can see, our correspondence has become a good habit. (( its now 3 days since she sent this I just cant be bothered replying yet.. treat them mean etc etc)) This is stno, and I think that there’s anything wrong with that. I hope soon it will grow into something more. ((me to coz i aint writing these emails for free!))

Today, as usual, I have a lot of work when come home, I will simply without power. But I still need to cook dinner. ((you you you)) I usually eat 3 times a day, because on more than enough time.(( greedy bitch)) In my work I have quite forgotten that I can be very romantic, because I love flowers and I have a botanical garden at home.I have many different kinds of flowers, I love when the house of many colors, they raise the spirits. Green calms.My favorite flowers – white roses, all men, tended to give the red, but if you once gave me a bouquet of flimsy, the only white roses:)) (( do i sound like alan titsmarsh to you??? ))

By its nature, I love adventure and love to travel, but due to my work, I can not at this time.I have a very long dream to a great trip, see the world, other countries. Who knows perhaps all my dreams fulfilled in time. (( you mean once I pay up)) I do not know whether you are interested to know what I dream? ((as a bloke no I do fucking not… however as Im a girl I shall entertain your need coz I know what its like gf when mr yum yawwwnss at my dreams and pretend sleeps.. u know that way when guys do that.. u feel me gf … oh wait… nigeria..male ))

A lot of what you already know that I dream to a great trip.In addition the family, I dream to get married have children, if my future husband will want to have children.I dream to have a good and easy job that I will love, at my current job, I feel not very comfortable.I have very little pay, I feel that I am able to better and greater. (( and do you feel that you could get that from where exactly??? ))
Hours of my work increased, while wages remained the same.In short I am very difficult to say more than that. But I am in any case not going to hang around their necks the first counterclaim, it is not in my rules.I love to work, ((well keep up with it then ))

I always respond to kindness with kindness, I see if a person sincerely wants to help, and I always answer it the same. I need a man for whom I will, like a stone wall.((wtf are you talking about woman.. muttering on about something ? walls what?? )) Such a man I will give everything: love, attention and all my tenderness.I want to relax with him, sit by the fireplace at night, or just watch the film on DVD, so now all my dreams. I want to fall in love once and for all! Maybe you’re just the man, whom I was looking for a lifetime? (( maybe I am baby, maybe I am…or maybe Im not..))

Yet I must tell you that you are attract my attention. It’s true. This is more than curiosity.Tell me honestly, do you think I am beautiful, do you view me as a sex object? (( I see you as something yes… I just cant quite put my finger on it just yet… hmmm maybe in time))

Or do you see in me something more?? ((( this really intersts me now.. I mean really its been what 5 days of emails and my princess asks this.. I mean really come on… in normal life the answer would be get tae fuck you bunny boiler.. in tv famous land we would be married already… I love you katya! ))) This is important for me and I ask you to answer this question. UUUps, I, I entirely forgot that I need to prepare an article for tomorrow morning. I forgot about while writing this letter to you, sometimes I go dispersed.I must come and finish the article otherwise I will get to work. (( you mean you have more emails to send to other men and women.. of course who am I to stop you trying your best to earn a buck)) I would be happy to see your reply soon.I really do not notice how time flies)) This is all because of my high interest to you! (( you mean im the only one that replied)) I wish you good mood, your Katya!

Ahhhh her words take your breath away .. and no doubt soon some poor guys cash… imagine if she did con me out of cash.. lol obv she wont but imagine lol … sometimes I think did Mr Yums cleaner con me by giving me a sob story.. but then I did make her tell me stuff sooo.. hmmm maybe she didnt.. but anyway..

your more interested in the pics.. i know i know.. what did she send me then… lets look shall we..

Wind Swept Beauty

Ohhh whats that your holding naughty girl

no goodbye…

Soooo .. .. sorry this is as hard for me to write this as it is for you to read it….

I admit I took my time to reply but.. I never expected this… I replied to my princess’s last email as follows:

Hi my russian princess,

I am so sorry that I have not been in touch in several days I have been very busy with my business it is doing so well just now I just had to work very hard with it there this week.

3 times a day that is good ! you are a healthy girl !! they say that breakfast is the best meal of the day…

i do love a romantic !! I think that me and you will have many romantic nights in my yacht ! candlelight nights watching the stars in the sky.. the moon rise and the sun set! poetry !

You say you get very little pay.. money is not everything.. but i can assure you , if you are with me you will never need to worry.. i do not wish to blow my own penis but i do have a very good salary owning my own company.

I do reward kindness with kindness.. i can tell by your words that you are a kind gentle loving woman.. I cannot wait to hear back from you today.. I have missed your words terribly..

I must go now because I am still very busy.. im trying to crack a deal !

I await your reply my princess !

all my love

a nice email i think you will find..
my reply from hotmail was this:

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification. THIS IS A WARNING MESSAGE ONLY. YOU DO NOT NEED TO RESEND YOUR MESSAGE. Delivery to the following recipients has been delayed.

Oh! thats what I thought.,.. oh! indeed and today! well i get this…

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification. Unable to deliver message to the following recipients, due to being unable to connect successfully to the destination mail server.

My princess is gone ! gone!!!!!!!

I feel so .. so .. so empty inside…

did i move to fast? say to much? no more pictures no more love.. nothing

Naked Dancing ?!?

Tomorrow I go for an “informal chat” about doing the Naked Celidh.. informal.. does that mean i dont have to get my minge out?

I realllly really really wanna get chosen to do this!! ive not thought it all out yet though like how will i feel standing next to a fat mans willy as he pretends to do the gay gordons! or how will i feel when an old burd with perter tits than me! or will any guys get a hard on?? and will someone make the “Stripping the Willow ” joke…

Should be fun .. I looked at his last one and well some people did have it all on show… I wouldnt mind… but I could jus imagine my dads face ! lol..

The pub that its happening in aswell looks soooooo gorgeous !

http://www.ghillie-dhu.co.uk/

gumtreeeee

I love gumtree!! anybody who knows me knows I love it!!

Its full of good stuff and some just totally wierd !! Ive used it a few times for lots of things and some pranks… today whilst I was looking for something I found this add

“HIYA

I M 33 YEAR AND JOBLESS PROFESSIONAL LOOKING FEMALE CHAT FRIENDS AND MAY BE MORE………..

REG,

Why I replied straight away ! I mean come on he is a professional !! wtf!
obv i didnt reply but the guy is totally wierd aint he ! and like 33 people have looked at it …

I may txt him ” get a job”

oh how lame

Swoon!

omgz

i love that feeling I get

after a yahoo

Naked Ceilidh Done!

Sneak Preview!

So today was the day of the naked Ceilidh..

I decided that I was going to be brave! Mr Yum would tell you I am the most paranoid person body wise but OMGZ today.. Im a changed woman ! well girl.. yes girl!

I went there and started talking to people straight away.. hang on .. you aint interested in this…

We all got naked ! Im sure we all had a sly peek.. omgz Ive never saw so many diff bodies… you know it didnt feel sexual at all.. it felt good! I stood there infront of everyone and got naked!!

We done what we had to do and it worked well.. I kinda did want to be the girl coming down the front but because of tit size I couldnt..of cours nothing to do with my minging face

After we had done our work we decided to actually do a bit of the Strip the Willow and then we all went round in a circle for ages it was great fun, bits flying everywhere and then lastly we done that run into the centre and then back out.. it was soo lol.

Im soooo proud of myself for doing it ! and Im sooo happy that Mr Yum encouraged me to do it !

I would totally do it again ! the people doing it were sooo nice and we chatted like we had knew each other for a while!

I got my pic taken for the Sun and the Scotsman, I prob look totally horrible in it.. but … It had to be done! I had to mark this milestone in my life…

Down Llandudno Yup Yup

Im down in Wales with work,,, just me myself…

Today for my tea I went to KFC tomorrow I may venture to the INdian.

So I went to the KFC (excuse me mr yum will i repeat my joke) and they got your own little sell service thing.. its like playing KFC at home !! however im thinking what next? Make my own Zinger ?? Oh puleeaseeee…

Afterwards I spoke to the tramp who was sitting outside, he wasnt a mega tramp, he was a hippy type guy he had 3 dogs and dreadlocks he seemed cool.. tomorrow he said he may take me to the caves.. but I dont think I will go.. no no no coz thats bad that is…

So this is wales

Down the Promenade

hotel

and this is what Im doing down in Wales

Somethings never change!!!

Page 3 eat your heart out

naked ceilidh

So the Naked Ceilidh was in the papers today…

The Metro, Sun, Star, Record.. dont know about the scotsman…

Now I done this for a reason and I feel great for doing it to celebrate and yeah im happy… yet why do I feel a wee bit coz you can hardly see my face ….

oh well that aside I am lucky to be in something that will be a part of history and lucky to be photographed by the lovely Mr Devine!

I like surprises

I do!

they are like wowowowoowowowowo!

can I have one please…

Milk me….

Today I am ill.. I have the cold… and when I get the cold I turn into the lamest person ever… I really cant cope with it.. I cry and wallow around in self pity text and email like sooooo much and a snuggle up in my mums cardi’s and my KLM blanket… I know exactly what im doing and I know exactly how pathetic and annoying it is…. so why do I do it???

The lameness bugs the fuck out me as does the txtn n emailing coz it just means I dont get replies !!! so what do i do? yeah i txt more !!!! omgzz get over your lameness… !

DONE!

Today my dad gave me some of his special tablets… they made me all wonky and monged lol.. they helped my very bad cold indeed!

Im very excited about tomorrow, that is another reason why I think im ill. ever since primary school its happened.. I remember the bring and buy sale at school we all got our own little stalls… I was sooo excited I was ill…. but coz i was sooooo excited I wanted to goto the “big” event regardless… it ended up in me in tears and the school nurse sending me home… my parents did try to stop me going in the first place!

For some reason im picturing in my head its gonna be all sunny and warm and we will sit outside drinking wine but its totally not gonna be like that !! it will however involve me getting drunk and buying stupid little things for Mr Yum and cool sweeties that I love that I just assume he will love when I know he doesnt really…. ha!

one day I will have my own sweety/craft/nakedness shop!

well I that is that as they say down the dairy farm….

speaking of dairy and milk I watched a spider get milked on tv the other day… they pinned it down, they said it didnt hurt the spider but I was thinking really how do they know that? It aint like its charlottes web now is it!! anyway it was pretty yuk! pulling out the thread from its little bobbins inside and the goo kinda attatched to it… it made me cross my legs!

Poooooooo!

Words cannot describe this masterpiece!

I love the fake elvis dancing, the sleaze up, the battle, the magic disappearing, the indian hitler ohhhh there is to much !!! watch it all to the end !!

I dooooo love the tune! v catchy!

simple shite

i made a vid for mr yum

he said that i would get Mick H to play me in my life….

right back at ya Mick!! and Mr Yum !!! coz i played him!

Life Model

With my new found confidence all thanks to Mr Yum and his yet another amazing idea I want to partake in a new adventure..
Life Modelling !! I think it would e sooo much fun !

Does anyone have any contacts or help with this? I have taken to emailing all the Uni’s in Glasgow that have Art classes Ive never done it before but willing to give it a shot !

I also want to get on tv this year.. just because

but that I can concur another day !

Its all sooooo exciting !

quicktime ?

Does anyone know how to change your quick time vids to media player?

omgz omgz omgz omgzzzzz that boy does it again!

Omgz ! im the happiest girl in the world !!!!

Mr Yum has teased me for a week now about a little surprise he was planning !! little !! omgzzz !! I just found out !!

Mr Yum ( <3 ) is taking me away for 3 nights !!! (no its not dubai as he pointed out a few times.. ? wierdo) we are going to Cyprus !! omgzzzzzzzz im like mega excited ! ive never been to a place like that on holiday !! this is gonna be amazing ! and sooo niceee and pretty and omgzzz just like sunn!!!!!

Lots of whoops await !! OMgzz I <3 Mr Yum like mega right now !!! soo gay I know but him being away its hard !! even though he aint u know but omgzz when he does things like this … it makes the waiting months and months !! aggghhhh sooo worth it !

that was gay ! but not intended ! im just saying im sooooooooooo happy! never ever did I expect this !! wowowowowoowo !!

but obv my bday to him is gonna be like sooo much better !! obv !!

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i just cant wait !!!!!!!!

and to top it all off !! he is home on friday !! for 2nights only!! omgz he is gonna be live in my livingroom !!! yeahhhhhhhhh !!

Fringe!

why do people in glasgow call a fringe a can can ?? and bangs? wtf are they??

I call a fringe a fringe !! and side burns side burns !!!

I got a fringe you see !!! I didnt like it at first.. its growing… on me

queue picture !! and no doubt mr yum think to himself what a poser !

well ha!

omgzzz a week today and I will be naked in cyprus ! hhahah

wordpress told me to ncall this pic The Mona Lisa

blah

ohhh im sooo confussed!!!

I woke up late this morning and its just made me all blah today… my head is confussed sooo much and Im over thinking !!!! i hate when this happens !!!

to much to do and hardly anytime !!!

n now after cyprus I miss mr yum…

it sux sooo much!!!

This is Cyprus

Sooo ive told you already it was amazing !! and now still I wanna go back !!! I hope Mr Yum will want to go back with me coz we did have fun and we did manage to put up with each other for the whole time !!

Here are some pics of cyprus….

Little upskirt

wet tshirt contest fail

Mmmmmmm

fat tits n hubby

fat tits

Yeah so thats fat tits.. we saw her most days of our time there down by the pool until some london scum came and moved her tit rest (sun lounger) so she didnt come back down to the pool.. shame I was starting to have a thing for beer bellies on women…

I wanna go back !!!! fix it mr yum!